i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
