dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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