you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
