I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
