Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
