I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
