I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We talked him into tasing himself.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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