areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
