So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
