I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
one might say we're banned from that church
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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