i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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