I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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