omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
