If you die in college, do you die in real life?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
