you traded sex for a burrito?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize