actually, I'm a sock model
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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