omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
