R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
porn star boner night. come get it.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
