im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Quick, to the slutcave!
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
