you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
