Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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