i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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