dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Randomize
