Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
3 2 1 whiskey
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
