I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
