Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
