you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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