i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
