There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize