I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
