Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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