She is in my trunk
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
