In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I party with great urgency now.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
