Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
