I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
