NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
it's great music for shaving your balls
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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