ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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