Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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