he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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