Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
