dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
