i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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