so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
