I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I accidentally burped into my bong.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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