What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
