I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Randomize