I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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