I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Fuck appropriateness.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
