As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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