I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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