Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
