So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
